883. - Chris & Jason

All right, uh, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian, and they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world, and they do it three times a week. Jason, does that sound familiar to you?

We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place.

All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcasts or watch on YouTube. [upbeat music] How Long Gone, Mr. Me Too, Chris Black, last morning in Tokyo. Jason, the sun is shining over the beautiful, beautiful city. I got the windows open. I mean, the shades open, the windows not open. Obviously, that'd be dangerous.

[laughs]

Um, but I am, um-

I don't know how they do things in Japan.

[laughs] Uh, it's, no, it's different. It's all backwards. Uh, and I have to say, I'm-

Suicide rate is high over there

... I'm, uh, ready to go, uh, as they, as they say in English.

I'm ready to go.

[laughs]

With the rooftop shouted out.

Oh, that's a-

That's you?

That's a good one. That's a really good one. I haven't thought about that in a long time.

Mm-hmm.

Uh, yeah, that's me. I'm just, I'm just cooked. It's been, it's been, uh-

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm

... it's an exhausting place to visit. In a good, in a good way, 'cause you're getting it in-

Okay

... but.

This eel is fried. This tamago-

[laughs] Yeah

... is well done.

Ah.

Okay.

Yeah. Exact- exactly. Exactly.

Okay, so your, your dogs are still barking. Also, shout out to our, our friends at HOKA. HOKA is listening. They did send us some free shoes, uh, in hopes of you walking around. I saw they have, like, a HOKA... You know how New Balance has their little version of the loafer?

Uh, yeah, yeah.

HOKA does that as well.

Yeah. Those are, those are the-

Is that something that you would consider as you're browsing the bookstores and bookshops of Osaka?

Those are the enemy, uh, in every way, no matter who makes them.

Okay.

Um, but that is nice. I, I really appreciate when someone that works at a major corporation, um, is good at their job, and that's what I have to give-

Mm-hmm

... HOKA credit, credit for here.

Mm-hmm. I agree. It's like, "Hey, what do you give them? Maybe we'll send them a box with, like, a, an award and some chocolates and a water bottle."

[laughs]

And you're like, "Okay, thank you for this water bottle." I've never owned a water bottle, so now I know-

This is a big deal

... what to do. Ver- And then, you know, you need somewhere in between box full of useless shit and here's $1,000, you know? 'Cause it's almost a little... You know, I almost feel like a pro at that point. It's like, it's a, it loses all of its magic. You need a little something, just like how you suggested.

It's fi- It's, yeah. I'm, I'm saying that-

Just like, "Here's a free shoe. Get it for yourself, get it for your mom, whatever. Do your thing."

Do your thing. I mean, I, I was, my dogs were barking, and then I did go see, David Marks put me in touch with a acupuncturist/masseuse yesterday.

Hmm.

And my, my man got me fucked up. I feel good. I slept like a rock.

Okay. What was the, what was his style? What was his discipline of body work?

Uh, it was... Well, what's interesting and what I like, no oil, no lotion. Just straight up-

Hmm

... I'm getting in there.

No soy sauce?

No soy sauce, but I had to put on, I had to put on this funny little... Yeah, he did it with his hands too. He ate with his hands.

[laughs]

I had to, [laughs] I had to put on, um, I had to... [laughs]

Goddammit.

[laughs]

I learned that on Jiro that you can actually just palm that nigiri and it's all G.

I've seen a, I've seen a couple of white boys doing that, and I say, "Nah, bro. That's disrespectful."

Hmm. Some, some people got it, some people don't. Benny Blanco picks it up with his hands.

Oh, that's different.

The sushi chef's like, "I'd rather not."

Yeah.

"I know that it's okay, and I said it's okay, and then doc-" You know, just something about it doesn't feel right.

But, but the thing about it was I thought I was just gonna, you know, usual massage style. All right, I'll just, I'll go into the bathroom here, and I'll, I'll get down to my skivvies, and then I'll get on the table. Get to-

Face down, ass up.

Unfortunately-

Get into position

... unfortunately, there's a little outfit involved, and it was-

[laughs]

It, they hand it to me folded up very nicely, very Japanese, and it's, it's a, it's baby blue in color, and it's a pair of-

Oh

... sort of knee-grazing baggy shorts that were a little too small in the waist.

Okay.

And then this, this sleeveless top that has a zip, quarter zip in the front, and then on the back it's all Velcro.

And Sporty & Rich just ripped it off. Damn, that was fast. Wow.

I put, I, I put this over my... I mean, it's skin... It feels like I'm wearing fucking a bulletproof vest. It's tight as hell on me.

Okay, so it's a, it's a sleeveless top that's a quarter zip in the front, and then what happens in the back?

Vel- Velcro in the back.

[laughs]

So they can, like, basically, uh, and you know, they, they rip the Velcro open so they can hit the spots with the needles. But I'm sitting there, I'm busting out of this thing. I got titty, uh, my cleavage.

[laughs]

I had to zip it, I had to zip it down a little more.

You look like Cardi B in this little shit.

[laughs]

Cardi B in the corset. He's got his foot in your ass and he's trying to get the Velcro shut. It won't take, will it?

I went, I went lotto mode and zipped it down a little bit in the front because it was just-

Lotto is lotto. [laughs]

[laughs] 'Cause it was too tight in the front. I was like, "Damn, bro. What am I supposed to do?"

I, okay, I like the baby blue kinda basketball knee-length shorts. It's very Snow Strippers of you. It's cute.

It was, the whole thing was funny, and then he got in there and I was like, "Oh, this is..." He, he basically said that my dogs are barking so severely because my hamstrings are just so tight, and that I gotta really work on the hammies.

Wait, did he tell you that it's all connected, though?

[laughs] I'm not gonna say... He didn't say those exact words.

[laughs]

Thank God. He resisted that.

There's a word in Ja- in Japan, in Japanese, that's just for, like, the body's, like, totally all connected.

The, the body keeps the score. So yeah.

Okay, so he said the hammies are so tight-

Uh-huh

... that it's making your feet hurt.

Yeah. It's giving me plantar fasciitis. So I'm, I'm-

Hmm. Mm-hmm

... I, I worked through it yesterday, and then I, I did... Uh, luckily I've been, I've been coming back and hitting the sauna, and I'm... You know, Mike Nouveau's-

Mm-hmm

... Mike Nouveau's here, and he's like, you know, eating two dinners a night. They're going out, him and, you know, the whole thing.

Hmm.

And I'm just like, "Dude, I don't have it in me." After walk- after shopping for nine hours a day, I can't also go to the izakaya at 10:00 PM.You know what I mean?

Yeah

I don't wanna smell like, I don't wanna smell like meat before I go to bed.

Mm-hmm. You don't wanna have some alleyway liver of a-

No, no

... of a-

I mean-

... unknown animal?

The food is so good, though. It's one of those situations. And I don't know if there's other places like this. I'm sure there are, and maybe you know of them. But I, I just feel like when the standard is high enough, it makes me less interested in going to the, quote, unquote, spots. Like, when, when a place that you walk in-

Hmm. When they're all spots, then-

Yeah

... let's just go to the spot

When the place that you walk in off the street is a seven, and the other place that's two-hour wait is a nine, I'm good.

Yeah.

I'm good with a seven.

If we went to college, that would be our rule, too.

[laughs]

You know what I mean?

Definitely. Well, that was actually posted above the toilet at my frat house. That's, that's-

Why wait in line all night for a fucking 9.3 when we got sevens just ready to go, dude?

We got sevens ready to go, dude. [laughs]

[laughs] Okay, okay. That, I mean, that's a good... That makes sense because at that point when y- if, if you're not necessarily, you know, a Jonathan Gold level gourmand and you're h- you, you... A, a, a Japanese seven, that's fucking good for you, right? Like, like we are, we're good to go. We don't need any crazy Michelin shit, so you're all good. So then you're able to eat at only places that you enjoy the aesthetic and vibe from-

Well, I found a place-

And you're able to-

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Okay

I mean-

Because so many great restaurants are, like, punishing to be inside of, you know? Like, this food here is so good, but you have to go through this, this, this, this, and this.

Dude, it's-

The chef looks like this

... the chef looks like this, yeah.

The music looks like this.

I only want hot chefs. You know that. Um, I'm trying to go to-

Not me.

I'm joking. I want them fat and old. The, um-

[laughs] We don't got that

... the no strakers. I, I went to, um-

Shout out to the French homie, the guy who's in France, who's hot, listens to our podcast. I forgot his name. I know he's in Biarritz.

Do, do you think it's fair... I don't think it's fair for a chef to be hot. You gotta leave some for the rest of us. There's nothing that w- I think women cannot resist that to a point where it's, it's sickening-

I, it's-

... actually

... it's like when somebody l- you know when you, like, are watching a movie and, like, a guy takes his shirt off and the woman just starts laughing?

[laughs]

It's like that, you know what I mean? Just like, "Ha, ha ha."

Well, I think that, uh-

You know, like a Liz Lemon kind of [laughs] laugh?

Y- yeah, I just don't think that... 'Cause I think it's-

Well, I think, I think the re- God punishes them because He makes all hot chefs are never that good, you know what I mean?

That's true.

You-

No, you're right

... like, you can get very good, but you're never gonna be the best if you're a hot chef.

I'd f- well, I think luckily for them, that's fine. I don't think that affects their bottom line at all.

Mm.

And, and I would say it's be- 'cause I feel like it's almost, it's like you have notoriety, but you're not famous necessarily, so, like, uh, you, you can... You, you get all the, the benefits, really.

Yeah. E- Eric Ripert in, in 1991.

Charles.

Fucking kidding me?

He was beating them off with a stick. He made Mor- he made Bourdain look like a pussy.

Yeah.

[clears throat] There's no way.

He's putting on a damn clinic.

He could actually cook.

Was his food the best in the world? Eh. He's a, he's a master, yes. But he's never gonna get there, and he knows it. But it doesn't matter 'cause his, uh, his tanned French dick is-

[laughs] It's, it's, stay wet

... super wet.

I did go to this, I did go to... Mike was like, "All right, meet us for lunch. We're gonna go to this, this, um, soba place." I'm like, "Sick. I love soba."

Hot, cold, fat or thin, you'll take a soba, won't you?

They're, they're f- you know, they're 40 minutes late 'cause they've been, you know, an hour away shopping for fucking Pateks or whatever they do.

[laughs]

And I'm fucking-

They're flipping a coin for an Audemars somewhere

And so, so Mike, Julius, and Dylan show up. They show up with all these fucking bags. They've been copping all day. They've been hitting Apress. They've been hitting Orly. They got all this stuff.

Mm-hmm.

So it's four white boys in this, like, silent, beautiful, like, family-run soba place.

Uh-huh. [laughs]

And then they bring, they bring out the soba. And Jason, when I tell you this is a snack... I, I mean, it's Michelin soba. It's Michelin-recognized soba, just to be clear.

[laughs]

I gotta tell you, I-

Michelin soba downstairs, now.

I had to... [laughs] Yeah, yeah, Brooklyn Heights.

[laughs]

Her name is Michelin and his name is Soba. Get it right.

[laughs]

We, um... Well, so I eat this soba. I even, I drink the bro- the, the healing broth, you know, right down the gullet.

Oh, yeah.

And then I got a-

Oh, yeah. The dashi.

I'm fucking, "Where are the hand rolls at, bitch? That ain't, this ain't enough."

[laughs]

This ain't enough for a-

You went to a appetizer-only restaurant

[laughs] I went to... But, but so the, I wanted to ask you about something because they just like-

They're like, "Well, we also, we, I can, I can do a bowl of olives for you." You went to Japanese Stir Crazy, fucked your ass up.

I went, I went to Japanese Stir Crazy, and they didn't have any-

[laughs]

They did have prawns, actually. They had single prawns. B- and they told us to eat the whole thing, which I'm not-

[laughs]

... obviously I'm not gonna do. But, but-

You're not a shell cruncher.

I'm not a tail cruncher either.

That's why you're always gonna be a little fucking ho.

But the h-

You never crunch on the shell, little broke bitch.

But the, there was a dish that I'd never had before that was fucking delicious, and I don't understand... It, it, it, it was served alone, which felt very crazy to me, but it was basically just baked miso on a sort of, like, like, I don't even know, like a little stand. It was like a, it was like a little pancake of miso.

A stand? [laughs]

And it w- it was, like, on a little... It was almost like a mini cake stand is how I would describe it.

Like a, like a pe- pedestal?

Yeah, like a small pedestal with, like, a, a small, I, I would say slightly larger than silver dollar size pancake of baked miso.

So it, so it looked like a little macaron or something?

No, it was, it was flatter than that. It was flatter than that. It was, it was literally like a pancake or maybe even, to really make it American, a hash brown. Like, flat, flat.

Okay. Okay.

And-

So I, I'm, I'm thinking, like, when you get caviar on blini. Was it like that? Like a little pancake like that, but it was just made out of miso?

Yeah, but it was flatter and wider and, like, crispy.

Oh.

And it was-

Oh, oh, it was crispy?

It was fucking delicious. [laughs]

So it was like a flat tostada shell that you would-

Yeah, it would l-

Some beans and cheese on that ho?

It was so good, but it was also like this feels like it should be on top of something.

Okay. When you... It was super thin, and how crispy was it? Like Chicago-

Not, not, not, like, crunch crispy

... it wasn't bar style? It wasn't wheat thin, like a-

No, no, it wasn't [laughs]... No

I'm just wondering if he made, like, a miso tuile.

No, it was not a tuile.

[laughs]

It was more of just a, it was more of just a crispy pancake. I mean, h- honestly, I d- a nod to our, our Hanukkah celebrators, but it could have been in the latke zone, I would say.

Okay. Well, I mean, you said it was only made out of miso.Is that, or w-was it made out of a, a pancake or a, a potato or something like that?

No, I believe ... No, I ... No, I believe ... I'm saying shape and texture. I'm not saying ingredients.

Mm-hmm.

I'm, I, I, I do believe-

Okay, okay. Well, you, you keep saying latke, and I didn't know if this was potato or a Japanese-

No, no, I'm-

... sweet potato.

I am, I am, I am sure-

Let's go pay some bills

... that it's pretty much just miso. And I was like, "This is the best thing." This is one of the best things I've had while I've been in Japan, but it doesn't ... Like, it feels like it should go on top of something. You know what I'm saying?

Okay. So it's like somebody gave you a bowl of chips. You said, "Where's the guac?" Or vice versa.

Exactly. There's, the chips are still great. I'll eat a fucking bowl of chips. No problem.

Like, if they bring you out a bowl of mustard and you're like, "This is really good mustard."

[laughs]

And yeah, but I would-

This is, this is my favorite Dijon

... if I could get a little sausage with it-

[laughs]

... that'd really hit things off.

It'd really-

Okay, when you, when you said-

... set it off

... a baked miso, I was think- I'm thinking two things. There's, like, at that restaurant in Mexico City, Pujol, I think, where they serve, like, a thousand-day-old mole, where it's like-

Ah

... the perpetual mole stew, and they smear it on a plate, and you're supposed to lick it like a cat or something like that and, and talk about how complex the fucking flavors are. So there's that, but then I also think baked miso, I'm thinking Nobu, you know, black cod miso salmon-

Yeah

... kind of thing. You know what I mean?

I would have loved that, of course, but it, it was, it was ... No, it was really good. It was just an inter- it was just so interesting 'cause I was like, we ordered it, and I'm like, "I don't," you know, "I don't really know what this is." But anyway, we ordered half the menu. I left and had to, you know, had to go buy out the 7-Eleven to continue to have energy to walk around for the rest of the day.

[laughs]

But, you know, here we are.

It's, it's weird because, uh, um, Nouveau, he's sober, right?

Uh, yeah, he doesn't drink, and the ... I think that his friends that are with him, I think only one of them drinks, but no one drank when I w- you know, when we were hanging.

Okay. So, so I'm, I'm trying to figure out why the, you're, you're unable to do it, and they are when you're a, a high-level athlete. Everyone is sober, so they're not ab- they're also playing through the pain, right? So even if they all have the plantar fasciitis-

[laughs] Yeah

... if, if, you know, if my dogs are barking, I go, I get some soba, I'm three Sapporos deep, and pain n- pain go bye-bye. But for you guys, you gotta white-knuckle it, right?

I think it's more that I just don't care quite as much.

Oh, you're ... It doesn't take much to get you to stay in the hotel and look at Twitter?

Uh, no, it doesn't. I mean, after being out for eight hours a day, and it's also, like-

Sure

... you know, it's very spread out. If I'm taking the train, it's a f- you know, 30 to 45 minutes minimum to get any... You know, it's, it's not that, it's just a, it's just tiring.

Mm-hmm.

It's, it's y-

Yeah, yeah, no.

And, and at the end of the day, I'm like, "All right. Well, it's 7:00, 8:00. I've already had my fill of Asahi 0.0 and sushi that I ordered on an iPad. I'm gonna go to the sauna and get-"

[laughs]

I'm, I ... There's a pool and a sauna on the fucking 28th floor of this hotel with, like, an insane ... It's insane. It's such a nice ... Like, I'd rather do that.

I wouldn't be exploring the villages either.

That's what I'm saying. So it's like how many vis-

Wi-Fi's strong.

How many visvim stores can one white boy go to? You know? That's the question I continue to ask myself-

[laughs]

... as the days, as the days go on.

Well, this is why I know that that question has been burning a hole in your mind for years, keeping you up at night, and you had to go visit Japan and, and answer the question the hard way. And now you know how many stores you can, and now, you know, you can close this chapter-

I, I think I'll ... I mean, look, I-

... in the Book of Black

... I will definitely be back, but I don't ... I, I d- I get why, I get why people love it so much. I really do. 'Cause it's, it is ... I think what is difficult as someone who, who travels pretty often and is down to do whatever-

Pause

... it is pretty difficult to go somewhere where you feel completely, it's completely different. You're completely out of your element-

Mm-hmm

... and no one cares about you. No one speaks your language. No one panders to you. They don't give a fuck. That is nice and humbling, and I think we all-

Man, that hit hard

... we, we all need a dose of that from time to time. 'Cause I'm usually go- the places I like to go coincidentally are very easy for me.

[laughs]

You know what I'm saying? It's not like I'm going to Tibet. Like, it's, it's pretty-

[laughs]

You know, I keep it pretty ... Go- going to London is pretty manageable.

Mm.

You know what I mean? Going to Stockholm is pretty manageable. So I think I need to, I think it was good for me to sort of-

We ain't, we ain't summiting Everest.

No, no, no, no, no. I was, I was summiting the Mount- Montbell store.

[laughs]

But other than that, other than, other than that-

These are good. Do you have them in a, in an 11 and a half, though? They're just a little-

[laughs] Yeah, I, I have it ... But I wasn't really able to cop that much. The sizing is an issue unless it's vintage. So, you know, I'm, I'm, I've learned a lot of lessons this week, I'll say that.

What, what about that, um, Dean & Deluca magazine set?

This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian, Stateside with Kai and Carter. This is covering a lot of our bases, Jason. It's, uh, it's trying to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world, and I know you particularly have quite a lot of questions.

A lot of questions, but how often? 'Cause we do this podcast three times a week, and that's a sweet spot. How many times do they do?

Three times a week, and I, I, I have a feeling just based on the platform and these talking points that they're maybe gonna be covering different stuff than we do. That's just a guess.

The Guardian is not some billionaire-owned platform. They're not afraid to say what they wanna say, brother.

Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in, in what, uh, journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at, at, uh, Stateside.

Mm-hmm.

But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcasts. You can watch on YouTube. It's three times a week, and, and who couldn't use more news? You know, especially, especially when it's, when it's not, you know, from here, let's say.

[laughs]

Give it, give it a, give it a listen. Give it a listen. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by our best friends at BetterHelp. Jason, we're, we're deep into May, which is, uh, Mental Health Awareness Month, and this is just a reminder that whatever you're going through, you don't have to go through it alone. Life is a damn journey. Some days feel good, and others feel overwhelming. Whatever's keeping you up at night, it's easy to feel like you have to figure it all out on your own, but the truth isNo one has all the answers. Well, and no journey should be alone. Having someone with you to listen, to understand, and to support you can really make all the difference.

I agree, Chris, and sometimes, you know, it, it's nice to be talking to somebody even if they're not even listening, even if you don't even get to be in the same room with them. Because what you're doing is you're admitting these things to yourself, and that's the most, that's the most rewarding thing you can do sometimes. So you can have a great little therapy sesh with your perfect therapist at BetterHelp. Choosing between over 30,000 people so you can get the right one just for you. Over six million people globally are using it and, you know, have some breakthroughs. Go on that walk after your BetterHelp sesh, you know, whatever it might be. Get a nice little lunch all for yourself, maybe a non-alcoholic kombucha, and just think and be like, "Damn, I really am him." You don't have to be on this journey alone. Find support and have somebody with you in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com/howlong. That is betterH-E-L-P.com/howlong.

Every time I go to the doctor, I walk out of that bitch feeling dumb. I got no real info. This guy in a white coat just say, "You're fine," you know, "Drink more water."

He knows how to charge my copay.

Exactly.

That's about it.

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Yeah, dude. So I went to T-Site, and they had ... I see the mag- I mean, the magazine selection there is fucking insane, and it feels ... It like-

T-Site? That's what it's called?

Dakinyama. Yeah, it's like the f- it's like the biggest bookstore. It's basically like if Barnes & Noble was really, really good and had fucking-

Yeah

... eight floors or whatever, you know. It's like-

Okay, okay

... it's like a sprawling, it's like a sprawling complex. It's all new, though.

Mm-hmm.

It's not, it's not like High Bridge or, or Komiyama. It's ... So I go there, and I'm like, "I can't bring any books back," 'cause I'm not one of these nerds who buys an extra suitcase. I'm just, I'm trying ... You know, I'm not-

Yeah, yeah, yeah

... I'm not doing all that. I'm not checking a bag.

A grown-ass man.

And, and I, I ... There was a food ... There, obviously, the food section was, was robust, you know, the cookbooks and et cetera, but there was a food magazine section. There was, uh, a Dean & Deluca magazine that was beautifully done, I have to say. Like, to the point, like, like, a little more sort of artisanal than, than Lucky Peach, let's say. Like, the, the design-

Oh

... and, like, the pap- the difference in paper stocks and shit.

What, what year was this from? Did you already say that? I'm sorry.

It's current. I think it's cur- no, I think it's current. That's what, that's the whole thing.

What?

Yeah, they're putting it out 'cause there's a million Dean & Delucas in Japan. So I think it's just a current thing. But they had-

Wow

... all 12 issues that seemed to exist. They had 1 through 12, and I was like, "God, I wanna buy 1 through 12." I feel like it's the first year or something. Like, I-

12 pretty ladies all in a row.

I didn't do any research. I just, I'm assuming and ... But I was like, "You know what? I'm not ... What am I gonna do? Like, do I really wanna deal with this? Like, so I can put them on my sh-"

Mm-hmm.

I don't ... You know, I don't know. But I was g- I was gonna get you the Dean & Deluca, uh, Cold Case Cookbook, but it was unfortunately, uh, all in Japanese.

Cold Case Cookbook. So, like, all the little sides and-

Like, all their prepared foods. It was all their prepared foods.

Cute.

Um-

Yeah, I'm j-

Which is a cool-

I just looked at ... I'm, I'm, I'm Googling it. Yeah, the covers are, you know, New Yorker level.

They're cool, right?

Hand drawn, good photos. Pretty sick, gotta say.

It's sick. It, it's cool. It's really cool.

What a great last-minute holiday gift, isn't it, Chris?

I know. Yeah, I love a last-minute holiday gift.

For the, for the Japanophile in your family.

Well, don't worry. Dan, [laughs] Dan Fromer's already on his way here, so I don't have to-

Oh

... you know.

Fromdom. I, I ran into Fromdom. We were driving up the hill over to Max, our, our beautiful agent over at Brigade. He had a holiday party after I DJ'd the Neiman Marcus holiday party. Shout out to Neiman's. Shout out to Mary Kay. Love you all.

Damn, you did a bang, bang-bang holiday picot, dude. You might as well wear a Santa suit.

And I did the same exact bang-bang one year ago as well.

Oh, interesting.

The same exact day. Neiman Marcus, you know, get a martini and a half and a cup of chili in me, and then, you know, speed across town to [censored], and then, uh, you know, pick out the leftover ham slices at Max's house. It was a real deja vu. [laughs]

[laughs] Leftover ham slices.

The ham is delicious, and it always goes first. We all know that. How was, how did I get there? What was I talking about?

You saw Fromer.

Oh, yeah, yeah. And, and as, as we were driving up, he was driving out with, uh, with Sherman, who we're gonna see in a couple days. There's, like, a Puck dinner or something like that. A D'Lo Puck dinner, and, um, yeah, that was good. And went to another holiday party two nights ago. Brandon Creed, uh, Charlie's manager, and many other people.

That f- that felt like a little more, um-

It felt like a Coachella one.

Like that went a little ... I texted ... Well, I texted Ka- I, I texted Carolyn the ... I f- I saw this Glendale College sweatshirt.

Hmm.

And I was like, "Should I buy? I'm gonna buy this for Carolyn," and I sent it to her. And then she was like, "Oh, that is really nice." And I looked it up, and it was ... I, I did the conversion. It was $900. I was like, "You know what? You're, you're probably gonna be fine without it."

[laughs]

[laughs] It was vintage. I mean, it was crazy. It was really good. It was really good.

I know, but $900 for-

But I mean, I guess my, I guess my point was-

Okay

... she was responding to me at a l- a time that was a little late.

Mm.

And I was like, "Oh, they're ... Oh, they've been ... I know what they've been doing."

Oh. Yes, yes. Um, I would say the one, the only one downsideA- amongst all the, uh, you know, the, the celebs, you know, the Kai Gerbers and the Carolyn Foes and their fur coats, and the Rachel Sennets and the Charlies all dressed up, there was more than a few dudes wearing Marty Supreme jackets amongst the, uh-

Come on. Come on

... the hol- the holiday kind of... It's, it's n- it wasn't black tie by any means, but, you know, it's, you know, fancy, nice house, holiday party vibes. Everyone's dressed nicely.

But in this situa- in this situation, is it possible that these gentlemen worked on the movie?

100%. I would say over 100%.

Does that make it worse or better? I can't tell.

Oof. That is the real question. That is the real question, because everyone knows at that party that you did work on that movie, so to wear it, it's a little-

Yeah. [laughs] Yeah, yeah. This isn't your... Yeah, this isn't your family Christmas party where you have to explain to them what it is that you worked on it.

A- Adele's manager was there. He wasn't wearing the Adele tour hat.

[laughs] Oh.

[laughs]

This is vintage Adele 20, uh, 25 merch.

[laughs]

This is from when we did Munich for 40 nights.

Pull it out for special occasions.

[laughs] Since we did 40 nights in Munich.

[laughs] Treat 'em and weep, brother.

That's so funny. I don't think that... I, I think that the, the Marty Supreme merch is going to be... The way that that's going to flood Beacon's Closet-

Mm

... when that shit, in six months, when that movie is no one's thought about it ever again. Uh, but I... You know, speaking of, of Rachel, our, our boy J- J- Jordan Fuersten's having a tough week, and I don't really know exactly what's going on, because I'm-

He's in a heated rivalry

... can you explain to me what he... I know there's the Gay Hockey Show, but I feel like the Gay Hockey Show took off since I've been in Tokyo, and I haven't been able to, to grasp it fully because of the... Something's wrong with the time difference.

Mm-hmm.

Can you explain to me? It's a, it's a show where two guys are gay and they play hockey?

Yes.

Okay.

And I, I think it is called Heated Rivalry. That was a joke, by the way.

It is called, it is called Heated Rivalry. It is, it is, yeah.

Um, but yeah, I have not seen it. It, I think it's a show that was, like... Oh, it's a Canadian show. It was on a network.

Shout out to our Crave, our Crave family. Crave is, like, the... Crave is how you get HBO in Canada.

Yeah. It was, it, it w- it was beasting on the underground at Crave, and then it got brought up to the b- big leagues, not to use a ringer analogy. But, and, uh, apparently it's just, like, a horny, over-the-top hockey gay soap opera. Many people have told me that we need to watch it and discuss it on the pod. They want us to do it.

I'm good.

And I'm just, you know, I'm not sure when I'm gonna be able to slide this into the roster. Carolyn might be like, "Okay, this is too far, Jason."

I mean, I'm sure it's... I, it just feels, like, unnecessary, uh, to, for me to watch, but-

Wa- watching this show for research purposes, air quotes, you know, who am I?

Yeah. That, I'm good. But, but it seems like it's really, there's really a lot of blowback.

95 on Rotten Tomatoes, 8.6 on IMDb.

I don't-

But also people say it's absolute slop, shit, but-

Yeah, I think that's the, I think that's the whole point. I think it's both. I think people are ironically giving it fucking 10s on their little-

Mm-hmm

... review sites.

[laughs]

Can you believe that people... I mean, I cannot believe... When I think about Letterboxd being a real thing, I'm, I'm truly blown away that, like, you have a job, and, and kids, and responsibilities, and when you have time off work, you crack a fucking IPA and sit down at your fucking table and write a movie review that no one's gonna read. Like, think about that.

Yeah, but also if you write the perfect movie review for the person that you wanna have sex with, and then they're like, "Damn."

People who are... Sorry, people who are, i- if people who are writing movie reviews on Letterboxd aren't the ones having sex. I don't think that's really-

No, that's, that... I'm saying that it gives them a slight little chance. There is a possibility that you could movie taste your way into some pussy or dick.

It's just am- it's just amazing, though, that, that writers don't get paid, and then the, and the people... [laughs] And then people are writing for free. They also don't get paid.

[laughs]

It just, none of it make n- everything about Letterboxd confuses. I just don't understand it, 'cause I guess it's like a social network really, like everything else. 'Cause you can, I'm sure you can, like, follow your favorites and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

I think, I think it's a way to prove if you, if you are a cinema influencer or, or hope to be one, it's a way for you to prove, you know, how knowledgeable you are, and then show other people your taste so they can come along with you. Like if you're a video game Twitch streamer, and I like this guy 'cause he does Overwatch, I like this girl 'cause she does this game, then I, that's my favorite game. You know? So it's like-

Sure

... it's letting other people know this is my flavor and this is my level of, uh, authority on the subject, so that's why you should-

Sure. It just seem, it seems like a lot of effort, I guess, is what I'm saying.

That's why you should pull my tree. No, I mean, of course.

It's a lot of effort.

Of course. But some people, they have these, these deep thoughts to criticize and to remark upon. It's kinda like two guys on this podcast. You know? The, it's, it has an uncontrollable urge inside of them to let it spread.

I, like, I-

And d- you know, reader be damned.

Reader be damned. I saw the... I saw somebody explain, I saw somebody, like, asking Twitter, like, "Somebody please explain Twitch to me. I don't get it. Like, what is streaming? I don't understand why I would watch a guy sit in his room." And someone was like, "It's, it's just talk radio, bro. You just have it on."

Mm-hmm.

"It's not, you don't need to pay." And I was like, oh, that's, the talk radio really is a good, uh, comp for that, I feel like, which I had never put together myself.

Yeah, you just have it on. And that's why, that's why sports and video games are, are killing it so much, because you can really just kinda have that shit on and have people talking about it, and they're, they're probably... I mean, I guess then there's the other people who, who are Twitch streaming the fucking neo-Nazis and stuff like that. That's bad, but.

Look, I'm, I'm less m... I, I think that, I just feel like everybody treats it wrong because the stuff that got popular is so w- what I'm saying. It's, like, a guy sitting in his room with 10 friends, and they're playing video games and just talking to each other. But I feel like the actual idea of it is good. I just feel like what's popular is so bad-

[laughs] Yeah

... that people are just like, "I don't know, dude. I, I don't watch this shit. It's, it's fucking Kai Cenat and fucking Druski breaking chairs with Kevin Hart." Like, I don't know. I don't, I don't need to wa-

Yeah

... I don't, I don't need to wa- like-

But if I was 12, I would probably be like, "This is better than my life, so I'm just gonna watch this." [laughs]

Definitely. Yeah, definitely. Yeah. Glorilla-

And I think you just get hooked as a 12-year-old

... Glorilla doesn't come in my room when I'm 12. They only, she, [laughs] she only comes in Kai's room.

[laughs]

It sucks.

[laughs]

All right, so you're ho-

Yes

... you're ho, ho, ho Jason right nowI don't know how you do this. I, I don't have the... I mean, I would do it obviously if I was around... I, you know, it's fine. But I just feel like-

Are you talking about the holiday party of it all?

Yeah. You really, I feel like you have a zest for, for holiday parties that... And you, you're not really a big Christmas guy necessarily. I know you're forced to decorate your home.

Mm-hmm.

But I, I think you're doing that a little bit under duress.

Holiday partying i- it's something that I, as you get older, I really have to pay attention to because it really does affect my body, you know, my mind, my lack of sleep, and my work. And, like, just if I go out, you know, four times a month and really push it, and then I increase that to, you know, 10 times in, in one month, it just, you really feel it. So you kinda have to treat it like [laughs] like a, like Timmy, like an athlete. You know what I mean? So my down days I'm down. Like today-

Yeah

... you know, it's rest and recovery, mobility, saunas, getting lots of fluids, you know.

[laughs]

A lot of soups, eating good, all that shit. M-

Rest and recovery

... nose tape, mouth tape, booty tape, titty tape.

Sure. You're all taped up.

[laughs]

He's ta- he, he's taped the fuck up.

I'm tucked. I'm taped. So try and clock me. I wish you could. Um, yeah, so, so when the Tom Cruise cake comes in the mail, you know, we're only having half a slice, maybe a quarter of a slice.

Who sent, who do, who do you think sent you that? Do you know?

I know who sent it. I- Ian sent it to me.

That's funny. What, is it, is it... And we're, we're sure that's the one?

Yes. Yes. Yes. Definitely. That is the one. And I did eat a slice of it yesterday.

Is it good?

It's okay.

Is it expensive?

It's $140, not including tax and tip and shipping.

Oh, okay. Wow.

So it's probably close to two, two hundo.

Yeah, I mean, I guess that's like... Yeah, I don't, I mean-

Coming, coming to you frozen out of Woodland Hills. But I think it's more, it's, it's like a status symbol obviously and-

Well, uh, yeah, totally. I just didn't know if it was-

But, uh, you know, as a g- as a gourmand, and my, my household has very s- specific and particular standards with, with pastry and, and baking, so, you know, we're, we're a tough critic. But it w- it was fine. Not our favorite. Not as good as the Erewhon coconut cake, which I'll use as the sort of double double In-N-Out benchmark that all other coconut cakes are judged upon.

I don't want any, I don't want any coconut desserts. Get out of here. That's worse than fucking carrot cake.

Carrot cake? I love carrot cake.

No, disgusting. That's a vegetable.

That's why Erewhon, that's one of the only things about Erewhon that I really love, is their cakes are carrot and coconut.

The two worst possible ca- I mean, they have other, they have other cake, I'm sure.

It's the thing, though, carrot cake is a thinking man's cake, Chris.

Yeah. Yeah. If you want raisins in your dessert, b- by all means, think on your own.

It's like somebody saying Fugazi's better than the fucking Boston Symphony Orchestra. You know what I mean?

Well, they are. I mean, this-

It's just not even the same convo. [laughs]

[laughs] This ca- They-

Are they?

They are. A- a hundred per- I mean, Boston, yeah. Come on. I mean, I'm sure, look, I'm sure they're a g- a great philharmonic over there, but, you know.

Well, okay, what's, what's your favorite... Okay, if, to make the, [laughs] make the analogy better, wh- which symphony orchestra should I have used?

No, I mean, I think Boston's fair 'cause I, I don't know enough about symphony orchestras. I'm obviously joking. But I, I, I think that-

[laughs]

... there are a lot of people who would agree with me if [laughs] if, that, that they would rather... Maybe, maybe it's better to say I'd rather listen to Fugazi.

Okay. A lot of people would say that, um, McDonald's is better than Chez Panisse too. You know what I mean? And those people can have-

That's their right

... those thoughts. A lot of people think that, um, what's the name of the singer girl that is, like, the adorkable one? What's her name?

Oh, Audrey. Audrey.

Oh, oh, Audrey Hobart. There's people that think Audrey Hobart is better than Lady Gaga or something. You know what I mean?

I don't think anybody thinks... No one would... I think those fan bases would never say that about Lady Gaga. [laughs] I think there's too much crossover. But I do understand.

No way. Lady Gaga's for the girls and the gays, and Audrey Hobart is for evil women.

No, the Au- Audrey Hobart is definitely for the girls and the gays, based on what I've seen from the, like, videos from the tour, I will say. But I think-

Look, all my gays, you are not allowed to listen to that, bro.

They definitely... The, the smart ones do. But although Lady Gaga-

Leave it to the basic hoes

... Lady Gaga's, I mean, I... That tour, it's cra- she's been on tour for, like, 15 years. I don't understand. Shad went to the show. I'm like, "Bro, what is this?" He's like, "Oh, it's the Mayhem tour." I'm like, "How long-

[laughs]

... how long can this go on, dude?"

It started during COVID.

It literally [laughs] it's, literally, literally. I'm just like, "Dude, how long can, how long can she tour for?"

Shawty, I owe you a text back. Sorry.

Dude, what the fuck? Uh, dude, all right, so, so Lily Allen played SNL last night, and, um-

Yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna watch it, um, this evening.

I watched all the clips, I watched all the clips this morning. But I, I got Josh O'Connor. Oof, tough putt. I, I feel bad for him. I feel like the-

He did not do a good job. I watched him last night on the, on the Knives Out 3.

I've never seen him in anything, I, I realized, I don't think, besides Challengers.

This, this may be the second thing.

I've seen Challengers.

Yeah.

Why are you watching Knives Out? Isn't that, like, a bad horror movie?

No, no, no. It's like a, it's like a whodunit kind of thing. There's been two of them. One, it w- I mean, it was... I would say half of it was good. The other half was stupid, but-

But it's what's his name, right? It's, um, what the-

Daniel Craig.

Oh, it's that. Never mind. I was thinking of something else. No, Daniel Craig didn't direct it, though. What's the, what's the-

But the ca- I mean, the cast is Daniel Craig-

Yeah, yeah, yeah

... Andrew Scott, Mila Kunis, Jeremy Renner, Thomas Haden Church, Glenn Close, Josh Brolin, Josh O'Connor, George, you know, Jeffrey Wright. It's-

Yeah, I'll make sure to-

There's a lot of people-

I'll make sure to-

... in this motherfucking movie

... I'll make sure to catch that one. Um-

It's okay. It's okay. It's just a little nothing else on kind of thing.

I think people like it. I think.

No, no, it's big. It's big. But, but you said Josh O'Connor-

I mean, it's just like he's-

... his SNL chops were not chopping

... he's just too, he's just, he's one of those guys that I just love the way he looks in clothes [laughs] and then when he talks-

He doesn't get to also be funny

... and then, um, and then when he talks I'm like, "Oh, you're like a real dorky British, like, theater guy," which is, like, great for acting but not the best, not the best for SNL I would say. But Lily-

Right

... so I, I think Lily is, is, um-She did the, she did the Madeline song and, and Dakota Johnson plays Madeline, like, on, on the s- like, like, the same way the album, you hear that voice, you hear Dakota does that on SNL.

And this is sort of the rise of the role model-

Yes, that's what I was gonna say

... what if we had a new celebrity-

Yeah, yeah

... or the, uh, Sabrina Carpenter Arrest Me Daddy.

This is the brat, this is the brat dance. This, this is the Apple dance.

The Apple dance. Yeah.

This is the Arrest Me Daddy. This is it.

Every, every pop star, if you don't have this new feature in your production-

It's pretty, it's pretty crazy that it, it's actually working though. I feel like it, it, like, it seems so formulaic now, but I see if, if Role Model's on tour-

Mm-hmm

... I see every day who he brings out.

It is effective.

But by no choice of my own, you know what I'm saying? Like, I'm just on, I'm just on the internet and I see it. It's kinda crazy that it, that it's worked so well.

Yeah. I mean, it does work, but I don't know, at what cost, I would say. Our, our good friend Lady Gaga over on the Mayhem Ball, she doesn't need to do that shit.

I, I don't think that Lady-

She is the show.

Well, Lady Gaga, [laughs] yeah, Lady Gaga I think is probably too, like she can't have somebody else.

Beyonc- Beyoncé don't need to do that shit. Taylor Swift don't need to do that shit.

Uh, I think they maybe do. It would make them look like they have friends, which could be helpful.

It seems difficult to do in every city all over the world, and I feel like, I don't, I don't know if this, is it, if it's gonna be a trend that lasts forever. I think it's gonna be like the celebrity podcast where most of them do it for one tour and then, you know, when, when the second season offer comes around, maybe-

Yeah, it's gonna be tough to get-

... we're gonna, we're gonna skip on that.

It's gonna- It's tough to get A-list in Tempe. I mean, that's definitely, definitely true.

[laughs]

I mean, luckily nobody tou- nobody tours for real anymore. They only go to, like, 12 U- major cities and so- hopefully they have a friend who's filming in that city, you know?

[laughs]

Is the, is what it feels like to me.

Yeah.

Maybe, but maybe you're right though. Maybe these, these things probably do only happen in major cities. That's t- fair.

Yeah, it has to.

And we only hear about them, you know, because, because of that.

Yeah, so was, was Lily good or, or-

Yeah, I mean, she seemed nervous, honestly

... you feeling it?

She seemed, like, nervous. I think it's like this is one of those weird ... I feel like this record is such an interesting thing to do live, especially on TV for the first... Like, I don't think the, I don't think the tour starts till later, so I think this is the first time she's done it.

Mm-hmm. Mm. Oh, yeah, that's right.

So I think that's, which is kinda crazy. Which is kinda crazy. It feels like most people, like, do SNL as sort of a victory lap.

Yeah, but she I'm sure has done it before, right?

Yeah, she did SNL-

Back in the heyday.

Yeah, yeah. She did SNL before for sure, but I, I just think it's, the, the, I don't know, man. It feels like, it feels, even though it's been out for a while or whatever, it- it's so confessional. I don't know. Something about TV makes it feel even more difficult.

Oh, yeah, for sure. For sure. And I, and I'm sure they make it, you know, 20 times harder than it is when you're doing a show on your stage with your crew and your everything, and everything is all perfect, and you gotta go into someone else's house.

She made it bedroom.

Yeah, Lily did, um, SNL in 2007. Seven, almost 20 years ago.

God, that is almost, that's crazy it's almost 20 years ago.

Back when she was doing Smile.

Classic. Classic tune.

Classic tune, yeah.

Classic.

Go, go ahead.

I saw The Avalanches here in Tokyo.

Japanese ass thing to do, bro. Damn.

[laughs] Yeah.

[laughs]

It was just, I'd never... A, a nightclub in Japan feels like a middle school dance.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Somehow, sort of. Like, and e- every guy is just wearing some sort of black streetwear, like, like, black in color.

Okay.

And a beanie. And they're dancing with the homies. They're not dancing with chicks.

Mm-hmm.

It's like six du- it's like six dudes in a circle dude soup, like, bouncing. 'Cause there was, like, some Japanese, like, a band opened, um, before The Avalanches played.

Okay.

Um-

Dude soup

... but it was a very interesting, it felt like a real, I felt like I was really getting a view into a culture that was not my own.

Were people getting turnt up?

Oh, yeah. Everybody's drunk as fuck, you know, they're just not obviously-

Oh, really?

Oh, yeah. People are b- uh, yeah. I mean, the line for the bar, I mean, you know how it is. Everything's so organized that it, like, takes forever kind of. You can't just like-

[laughs]

You can't just pull out your yen.

It's so efficient, things take forever?

Yeah, you can't just pull out your yen and muscle your way to the front and wave it around in front of the bartender. It doesn't work. [laughs] It doesn't work like the same way. But anyway.

Got a bunch of yen burning a hole in my pocket.

[laughs] I got these yens burning a hole in my goddamn pocket.

Working on my yens.

But I'm glad I got to see... I, I wish there, I wish somebody was playing, I wish, like, something I was really into was playing. I think it'd be fun to see something here, just to s- 'cause I, 'cause we went to the punk bar, uh, called Beat, and it's like the guy there is like-

Cute

... the guy that owns it is like a, it, I mean, it's basically just fake Max Fish. But the guy who owns it is, like-

Mm-hmm

... a promoter, like, in the music business somehow. So you see all the posters on the wall, and you're like, "Oh yeah, everybody plays here."

Yeah.

Like, every single person comes here on tour, and they probably lose money, but they have to do it.

Yeah, you have to, 'cause it seems so fun. I remember the first time I DJ'd in Japan, you just, it's almost like what it feels like for bands from a very faraway land to get to play in LA or New York for the first time. You know, just you hear so much-

Yeah

... about it, and you have so much built up in your mind of what it's gonna be like, and it's, it's never what you think it's gonna be. It's just impossible to predict that feeling. But y- you can do it without losing money because people-

No, no, I'm joking. I'm joking

... people are, I mean, yeah, o- obviously it costs a shitload of money to do that, but, you know, Japanese people are also good at booking tours.

Yeah, no, for sure. Every-

They got that shit figured out.

They do have it figured out. They do have it figured out.

Okay. So you went to Max Fish, but the fish was sushi grade. Did it feel authentic-

[laughs]

... and punk rock, or did it feel-

Well, you could s- I mean, you could, you could smoke inside, so it's like that, that makes it feel authentic. I think-

It's better than the Cha Cha.

I think it's like, it feels-

Oh, the bathrooms were cleaner. That's a, that's a nice thing.

No, no. The bathrooms were not. That is not a bathroom I'd wanna OD in, let me just say that. [clears throat]

Damn. Okay.

Let me, let me just say that. But it was a f- it was a funny, yeah, it was just a funny, like, I was like, "Why do I feel like..." I was like, "Oh, this is like if El Mir and Max Fish met in Japan." You know, which is a twisted thing. But, uh, David Geeting was here too, so he joined us, which was a fun-

Damn, this is cool

... I, it was a fun link at the, at the bar with him.

Okay. Um, yeah, I was, when I DJ'd the Neiman Marcus party, before we went to M- to Max's-Carolyn was complimenting me. She's like, "Oh, you look like you've lost a little weight." You know, this, I was wearing a shirt that used to fit a little tight, and it was a little looser. And I was like, "Okay, thanks." And then not, not one hour later, get in the car, go to Max's house, Scott Sternberg gives me a hug and says, "Are you getting fatter?"

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[laughs]

[laughs]

I have, I've got whiplash. I've got-

You're confused?

I've got body positivity and negativity spinning out of control.

Well, I think that S- Scott, first of all, loves to neg you, and second of all, I think Carolyn knows your body better than he does, which could work in your favor or against you in this situation.

Hmm. Yeah, yeah. Good point, good point.

D- you know what I mean? But I... Look, I'm sure you're looking snatched. Don't let these haters do this to you.

No, no, I, I'm, I'm able to recover. I'm not really that... I'm, I'm not feeling sad about it, but it was... it's more just, like-

Very funny

... to get, to get great and negative so quickly, it kind of fucked me up a-

Uh, welcome, welcome to my life, chief. Welcome to my life. Uh, d-

Does that happen to you a lot?

[laughs] Every day. Are you kidding me? You're, you're a fucking idiot. Um, did you see-

[laughs]

Did you see this... Th- there's a new Nas album-

[laughs]

... produced by DJ Premier, and, uh, obviously, it's for the dusty... You know, it's for the Joe Budden listener. But the, um-

Mm-hmm

... a lot of the lyrics are about Nas's investments and his crypto-

[laughs]

... his, his crypto status.

[laughs] Yes.

And it's just really, really funny to hear a 55-year-old man rapping about how rich he is from investing in tech companies over a Primo beat.

[laughs]

I have to say, it's, it's, it's, see, it's the modern world we don't want.

Okay. I need to... I'm looking this shit up right now.

It's crazy, dude.

Do you know what that song was-

It's crazy

... that I sent the quote on?

It's all of them.

Oh, get ready. Hold on, hold on. Yeah, "Serial investors, serial killer threats."

[laughs]

"Turn Ether to Ethereum. Y'all wanna bet? I got a crypto key. It comes with a password. I flip that key."

Dude.

"The digital cash work." [laughs]

[laughs] I, I can't think of anything cornier that shows your age than thinking you can r- I mean, I guess, like, I guess I respect it on one, on one side because it's like he's rapping about what he's doing. Like, he's not rap-

Mm-hmm

... you know what I'm saying? He's not rapping about killing people or selling drugs 'cause that's not what he's doing. But being like, "I'm early on Waymo," is just not, it's just a crazy-

I mean, it's-

The whole thing, it-

It's a big swing

... crazy.

Because I mean, like, like you said, like you just said, he has a line, "No chainsaws, cocaine wars, no bloodstains. I'm from the block with the chain. This is the new blockchain. My portfolio is many things from quantum computin' to biotech 'cause it's life improvin'."

Dude.

"Degradable plastic trash removin'."

[laughs]

And he calls himself the cryptocurrency Scarface.

DudeCut him off. Cut- that's it, bro. Where- you gotta go back, go back to, go back to your fucking private equity office. This is not-

It could be-

This is the music sh-

It's, it's really like if you, if you told me this is a new rap album that Mark Zuckerberg did or like Elon Musk did.

Yep.

Obviously you replace the N-word with something different, but you would believe that this, you know, this was written for, you know, an Elon rap album or, or something like that. That's how bad the lyrics are. No disrespect to you, Nas.

Oh, I would say there's some disrespect sort of baked into that.

[laughs]

But I understand. [laughs]

But we, we, we've talked about this before where, you know, at a certain point it, it's the Jay-Z effect. He should have learned from Jay-Z, the person who did ether him in life, unfortunately, even though according to his investments, Nas is, is doing quite well and probably is able to live a more fun, enjoyable life. He doesn't have to-

I would say that, but-

You know, be-

But I know Nas also hangs out with Paulie sometimes.

[laughs]

So things maybe aren't going that well, you know? I don't know.

But that, I, I would, I would say that mean, that means he's good in Eddie Hood. He can go-

That's, yeah [laughs] Eddie Hood

... zip down over to La Brea and 2nd Street.

He's, he's good at Eddie-

Get a sweet green and somebody be like, "Oh, hey, can I get a photo?" You know, some-

He's good at Eddie Hood. Yeah. "Can I get a cortado, please? Almond milk, um, extra hot."

Jay-Z can't even walk from the door to the helicopter without an umbrella and shades. You know? Like he's not, you know, it, it's, it's his life is cra- and he has to deal with Solange whooping his ass all the time, keeping an eye on him.

Oh, Beyonce hates him. Blue hates him.

Blue hates him.

They all hate him.

All, it, it's tough. He's getting cucked by LeBron.

He's gotta re, he's gotta get a retwist all the time now.

But- [laughs]

It's, that shit is different.

But then, uh, but Jay-Z, he would, he used to rap about, you know, bitches and guns and drugs and money and fun stuff and partying and bullshitting and having fun and, you know. And then he started talking about 401[k] investments and, you know, and-

If I have to hear one more Jay-Z line about Basquiats.

And it, so, so Nas is, is taking him one step further and going straight into blockchain raps.

I think that there's a h- you know, part of me thinks that, like, if you're Jay-Z level and you act normal, that people will treat you a little more normal. Does that make sense?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like I think a little bit of the, I think a little bit of the s- the pomp and circumstance around celebrity and how they move around is a little bit like-

Yeah

... you know, I know you're famous, I know you need a bodyguard. I don't know if you need four bodyguards. I don't know if you ... You know what I mean? If you, if you're ... I don't know. It just seems like a little bit like they li- they like it.

Yeah, yeah. Like I guess maybe like Charlie Sheen feels like a good example of like the opposite of that where he can kinda-

If you just show up

... you know, he can cruise around. Pe- people will get some autographs and people n- but nobody's, he's n- he's, he doesn't feel like he's gonna be in danger of his life.

But I think the more-

And he's got-

I think the more-

... a lot of money

... security and armored cars and fucking, you know, body men-

Yeah

... you have, it, it sort of makes people wanna test you.

Yeah.

Whereas if you show up in a fucking hat and sunglasses and get a coffee and keep it moving-

Mm-hmm

... you might get, "I love your music." But I don't know, maybe I'm wrong. I mean, yeah.

No, there, there's, there's some basic human logic in there. You know, the biggest, strongest person in the room, you, you go up to him and, and challenge them to a fight as a way to exert your dominance and not be, you know, in, in the kill or be killed world of, of the jungle and the concrete jungle.

I am, um, I'm really upset about my, my poor planning, um, as far as travel goes 'cause I'm going-

Still?

Well, I'm going to New York for one day and then coming to LA from Japan, which is-

Mm-hmm

... [laughs] which is a known place that is closer, much closer to LA.

And there's no way that this can be adjusted or altered or anything like that?

It was just too, it was, yeah, it was just sorta like everyth- you know. It was all planned last-

Mm-hmm

... you know, whatever. It's fine. I'm, I'm just like thinking about it now and I'm like, "Wow, I'm gonna be a fucking zombie when I show up."

What day do you land in LA?

Wednesday morning.

Okay.

It's, so right now it's 7:53 AM on Monday.

7:53 AM on Monday. Right now it's 2:53 PM on Sunday, the day before.

I land at 9:00 PM New York time on Monday.

[laughs]

[laughs] So.

So it's already Hanukkah where you are?

It is. Thistles is doing a holiday party with High Snobiety and Licky Lee, one of my, a, a Chris favorite is playing, and I, I thought I was gonna be able to make it, but I got my shit fucked up.

She was at Creed's party two days ago. Damn.

Team fly out, bro.

Licky, you need that bag. Get on that plane, girl.

Get her a little bag. She got a f- mouths to feed. Um, but, but I, yeah, I'm, I'm excited to come to LA, get some normalcy. I mean, can you believe it? A Christmas miracle, I'm having a backyard bowl. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Even it-

This is ... Okay.

I believe in Santa now, honestly.

Tiny victories, Chris.

Tiny victories. Tiny victories.

Yeah. Uh, I don't think backyard bowls made the, uh, the LA Times 101 Best Restaurant list this year that just came out, uh, with our old previous guest, Bill Addison, who just went, uh, he dropped his anonymity and he started going public and started making, uh, front-facing video content along with everyone else who works at a newspaper it seems, right?

Well, I'm sure the, the pressure from on high was, uh, unavoidable, um-

Mm-hmm

... to, to do that, but I don't know. I mean-

I always wonder all the people that work at newspapers, what the percentage of them is, is switching to TikTok video, uh, a- a- against their wishes, and how many of them really wanna do it.

I think it depends on what you cover. Like, I think for what he's covering-

Mm-hmm

... it's so, like that i- industry has been fully flipped on its head by like video.

Yeah.

And, and some of them, some of them haven't. Like, I think if you're an op-ed person, you're fine.

[laughs]

You know what I mean? If you're, if you're, if you're writing fucking page one above the fold about politics, you're probably fine. But this kinda shit is like-

But that's, I mean, but that's it. Everything else is v- you know, sports-

Yeah, that's true. That's true

... travel. You know.

But it's funny with sp- it's funny with sport-

Culture

... it's funny with sports because I feel like that's also like, I think of ESPN as the source for everything, which has always been video, for lack of a better term.

Mm-hmm.

But I guess ESPN's also like podca- they do everything, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So it's like th- they don't, they have to cover it all. But yeah, I mean, how, how was the list? I'm, I mean, I'm sure you disagree with all of it, but is, was there anything that, that stuck out to you?

Hmm, let me see.

I mean, 100 restaurants is like an unbelievable amount.

Uh, there's so many of them that I have never been toYeah, I was remembering when b- before Jonathan Gold passed and he put, I think it was Vespertine down at 101. Like, not, a, a kind of a diss, I guess, right?

Yeah, definitely a diss.

Oh yeah, Panda Inn's on there at 101, a restaurant that I frequent a decent amount. Let's see. I'm gonna go back. I'm gonna go down to the top 10, 'cause we don't need to know all of it.

Yeah, I only care ab- I, I only care about top 10.

Henry's over at 57. Not bad, Henry's. There's a restaurant called Selene but it's spelled differently. Okay [laughs], okay. Number one, Mercado La Paloma. Uh, it's like a Mexican spot with grilled, grilled fish and things like that.

Sure.

I've never been there. Crazy that it got number one-

Yeah

... 'cause it's like, I don't think it's an expensive spot. Uh, Kato at number two. That's good. Makes sense. Baru at number three, which is dope. Love to see it. We went to... We went there with, uh, with Al and you had the vegetarian-

Yeah, yeah

... tasting menu and it was bomb, right?

That shit was good. It was really good. Yeah, I for- I forgot about that. It was really good.

Yeah, it's a special, it's an artistic, interesting, special meal. It's not, it's not one of those... You, you might have to get a slice of pizza after, but it's still really good.

I didn't expect to li- I didn't expect to... I wasn't... I didn't have high hopes, and it was very good.

Yeah, 'cause you, you, you typically don't swim in the waters of Korea. Uh, and your favorite restaurant at number four, Dunsmore.

Well, can't win them all with-

[laughs]

... it's not number one.

I ran into, to Buscemi at, at Creed's party, and he said he just came from Dunsmore. I said, "Oh, sorry bro." Um, Hayato at number five. Japanese spot, super expensive. Heard it's really good, never been. Uh, expensive. Providence number six. Just got three Michelin stars. Never been. Do wanna go there as well, even though I don't like three-star food very much. Morihiro, Japanese, uh, sushi spot that was in Atwater. I'm actually going there next week for the first time. KK wanted to do a little vacay, and I said, "Hmm, let's just go to expensive restaurants in, in town."

[laughs]

Seemed to work out okay. Antico Nuovo on the, uh, number eight-

Okay

... which is good. I think if you live in Larchmont it's really good, but-

I like that place a lot

... I don't know if it's a destiny.

I like that place.

It's good.

I mean, people, people complain about where it is but I'm like, they have a valet, I don't give a fuck. It's the sa- I mean, I, I just don't... I don't know. It, that doesn't really bother me. I don't, I'm not considering price when I'm considering location, if that makes sense. I'm considering is it good or not.

I mean, I am if it's dangerous to walk from the car to the door and I'm gonna drop $498.

But it's not. It's not. You s- you s- you sound like a fucking newscaster. It is not dangerous.

[laughs]

It is not. It, it ain't dangerous at all.

Bro, you don't know shit. You're not in the fucking streets like me, bitch.

Bro, you live in a suburb. You li- you're the least dangerous guy I've ever met.

And I live here because I had to learn the hard way what it's like out there on the streets.

[laughs] Oh yeah.

Mm-hmm.

[laughs] Yeah, you, I know you got, I know you got robbed so many times you had to move. That, that's what-

Life's hard. I gotta be hard too.

[laughs]

I've been down there in the gutters, bro.

I know. I know. I'm sorry. I don't, I don't mean to... I'm not trying to g-check you.

Look, I, I... Look, when you come to LA after your little Japanese trip and I gotta stop in Manhattan first and get my fucking blah, blah, blah, get, pick up my dry cleaning, then we'll come, we'll come see where Silver Lake meets Koreatown.

[laughs]

We'll go there at 9:15 for that little res, the only one you can get. And then we'll, you know, we'll let Chiquita speak.

[laughs]

You think you're all fucking badass. Where you from, bitch? Frogtown. Get your ass. Rascals. Get your ass.

[laughs] So d-

Treese, get your ass. Come on, bro.

So dangerous.

Anyway, at number nine, Restaurant Ki. Haven't been. Super expensive Korean spot. Whatever, I don't know. Anajak Thai at number 10. Not for me. Inaka at 11. That's been there forever. Surprising. Azizah at 12. Very surprising. It's good, but 12 is crazy.

I've never heard of any of these restaurants.

The problem is-

Like literally

... I haven't heard of half of them either. Selene in Santa Monica looks stupid.

How, how is, how is it spelled?

S-E-L-I-N-E.

If it's in Santa Monica, it's expensive.

It's gonna be, like, a lot of edible flowers.

Okay. Yeah, sure, sure.

That's what you're, you're paying for, the edible flowers. Destroyer at 14. I kinda fuck with that.

Oh, I didn't know Destroyer... I didn't know it was still open.

Yeah, I would only go to Quar- or to, to Culver City for a check, but, um, sh- I wish them luck over at Destroyer. And our friends over at Quarter Sheets 15-

I wanna go back. I, I need to go back

... to round, round out the top 15. We're not gonna get into anymore.

I need to get back to Da Sheets. That's my, that's my [laughs]... I'm a, I'm a, I'm a freak in Da Sheets when it, when they put the pie down.

If you, well, just let me know. I can get the ressy.

[laughs] No, no, no, I don't-

I can get the ressy going. Don't worry

... I don't know if I'm gonna have ti- unfortunately, getting over there and parking over there, not to sound like an LA local, is hell on earth. So, it, but it is worth every, it is worth all of the painstaking parallel parking for that little pizza.

Well, Chris, you can, you can just come over to my house and we can get the black car no problemo.

Oh, yeah, I mean, I guess that's true. I like, I, I kinda, I don't mind... I love the control of driving, as you know, when in, in LA specifically. I, I just can't-

Of course.

Taking Uber in LA is just too, is awful. I hate it. I really, really hate it.

Sometimes you gotta do it. I mean, d- really depends on where you're going. Like, if I'm going, like when, uh-

Totally. Totally

... on, on Friday when I was doing the Bang Bang, went to go to Aaron Levine's show at Mohawk, which is on Sunset, right in the middle of Sunset Junction.

You can't park there.

Zero parking, number one, and then dinner after at L&E Oyster. Also not the easiest place to park on a weekend night. And then, you know, up to a house in the Hills. They did have valet, which is nice, but you know, that's, that's rare.

So you took four, you took f- you took four Ubers on Friday night?

Uh-huh.

Oh, damn. Okay, bro. All right. Holiday season.

Which is the cost of one Uber in Manhattan [laughs].

Yeah, I mean, kinda true, honestly. Kinda-

And sometimes, you know, w- we don't know how or why it works, but sometimes the Uber Black-costs $18 and the Uber Comfort costs $18-

Yes

... and the Uber X costs $18. You know, sometimes they got wheelin' and dealin' days.

Nothing about Uber makes sense to me really. Um-

Sometimes the Korean barbecue burrito at Erewhon is 50% off.

All right.

We don't ask why.

Erewhon hitting you with the, with the, the plate. They give you the price for the plate, and then they hit you with the, "Oh, it's actually by weight and somehow it's $55-"

Mm-hmm

... is, is one of the greatest, greatest scams ever made.

Yeah. No, I mean, it's kind of-

Genius

... it's a reverse Chipotle 'cause on, 'cause they gotta... You gotta trick them into giving you more food at Chipotle for the amount of money, and then at Erewhon you have to trick them into giving you less food-

Yeah, you do. I-

... so you don't have to get a fucking second mortgage out on your lunch.

You gotta s- you gotta tell them to stop, and they look pissed when you don't want any more short ribs.

No, if you're, if you're hot enough, if you're a hot enough chick, you can tell them, "I want my main to just be a salad, and then I want my sides to be the proteins." You know what I mean? And they'll do it.

Amazing. I don't get that kind of treatment. Um-

No, you can't do that, but typically you'll be like, "Oh, I'll get that plate." And it's like, "We'll put a fucking, a rack of lamb."

[laughs]

"We'll, we'll do a, a rack of barbecue baby back ribs on the main, and then your sides will be three pieces of arugula, and that'll be 74, thank you."

I mean, look, whatever you, wherever you gotta do. I c- I c-

It's not a balanced meal

... I can't wait. Oh my goodness. I can taste it now.

Do we wanna talk about Paul Thomas Anderson filming Geese like a fucking Kubrick movie-

I mean-

... last week in New York?

... I'm upset that I missed that show [laughs] because-

[laughs]

... it is good, really good. I think he did LA last night.

Mm.

And then he covered, he covered one of my favorite This Is Lorelei songs, which is very cool.

Mm-hmm.

But yeah, I mean, I don't know. I don't... Like, Cameron Winter is it. Like, he's the guy. The solo album is unbelievable. These shows... I mean, I saw a, a show similar to this in a much smaller venue, whatever, like s- three or four months ago.

Mm-hmm.

And it's, it's pretty unbelievable. Do I need Paul Thomas Anderson and Benny Safdie there with their fucking loops on looking like-

[laughs]

... you know, like they're looking at diamonds? I don't know. Well, let's see what the results are. You know? Let's see what the results are. But I didn't realize... I didn't know that he had the camera, like, up on his face, like, on stage.

[laughs] Yeah. It was very, it was looking very glazy. It was looking very National Geographic filming, you know, the winter-

It'll look cool, I'm sure

... tit mouse coming out for the first time after the snow has froze, uh, has melted.

I'm sure it'll look cool, and I, I think it's cool that Cam faces b- I th- back to crowd is fire. [laughs] Back to crowd-

[laughs]

... while playing piano is, is-

It's cool

... J Spaceman, J Spaceman I'm only gonna sit down levels of, like, I don't care.

Mm-hmm.

Like, especially when you're young and hot. It's really... It's not like he has a disfigurement. It's like he's Daniel Johnston.

Honestly, I would get bored. You know, if I'm just sitting there on the piano by myself the whole time, what am I looking at? The curtain?

Well, he also... He'll get up and, like, strut a little bit.

Look at some baddies in the crowd? Oh, okay.

He'll just, [laughs] he'll just, he'll do a lap around the r- lap around the baby grand.

Okay. I did not see that on any of the TikToks, so the-

No, but it's... I mean, it's honestly, that record's special. Apparently there's a new one. There's another one done that's coming, so that... I mean, I don't know, man. I think it's like-

If, I mean, if this guy's, what, 23 years old or something, like, he's got the energy. He's got the sauce. He doesn't seem to have a drug problem. Just-

Yeah

... I just want him to take a l- a f- take a couple weeks off for the holidays, bud. You're overworked. You had such a year.

But that's the thing. It's like they didn't... I mean, Geese didn't do that many sh- it's like it's, it feels like that because we hear about him so much. But it's not like they did some, like, world tour. They play... You know, they did a tour. They did a, a regular tour. Smaller than regular, I would say.

Uh, yeah. I mean, it, it could just be the perception of, of what we're seeing online, but I feel like-

It's definitely, it's definitely perception

... him or Geese are playing every day forever.

It's literally your... It's, it's both of our algorithms and who we follow, 100%.

Mm-hmm.

It's d- I mean-

You're right

... that's what ruins everything for everyone. Um, all right. I'm, I gotta go to the gym and then kill some time before-

Mm-hmm

... I take an hour and a half car ride to the airport to kill some time before-

[laughs]

... I get on the 14-hour flight, so.

[laughs]

And pray for-

Okay, y'all

... pray for your boy.

Um, and I will see you in New York in a few day... I mean, sorry, in Los Angeles in a few days. We're gonna be doing a cool, fun project that we'll tell you more about later. And then Friday, December 19th, Homage Brewery here in Los Angeles in Chinatown, I will be DJing 11:00 PM till 2:00. I believe it is open to all and free and everything, but come early in case there's a line. There was last time. Um, and yeah, that's all. Good luck on your flight, Chris. Get your compression socks from the Muji store-

Oh, don't worry

... all ready to go.

Don't worry. My, my Riccarri, my Riccarri over-knee, uh, compression socks are in the mail. It's a little holiday gift to myself, so.

Not bad. Okay.

All right. Howlonggone, howlonggone.com is the website. Thank you for listening, and we will, uh, talk to you next week.

Bye-bye.

Boy, I've been watching you like a hawk in the sky. Like, wow, you are my prey. Boy, I promise you if we keep bumping heads, I know that one of these days we gon' hook it up, probably talk on the phone. But see, I don't know if that's good. I've been holding back this secret from you.

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